Monthly Archives: February 2014

Three Act Tragedy

Dear Housewives, Portman Doe is a planner. Portman Doe makes meals from scratch. Portman Doe has a regular schedule of cleaning activities. Portman Doe has OCD. As a housewife might imagine, the culmination of these activities and traits can lead to quite the hustle and bustle in the home. For example, this morning I sent… Read more »

The sweet smell of bush

Dear Housewives, A popular and true notion, as one heads into a future of Botox and Rejuvenex, exfoliation is the stop-gap measure for the appearance of a smoother forehead. Recently, there’s been much ado about scrubbing in the news. Housewives should take note! We need a product that is natural and environmentally friendly. Conveniently for… Read more »

Ratface

Dear Housewives, I, Portman Doe, am a terrible person. I have a younger sister, and like many older sisters and younger sisters, we haven’t always gotten along. Sometimes I would call her Ratface. I feel particularly bad about this now because my sister does not look like a rat. Not at all. In fact, if… Read more »