Three Act Tragedy

Dear Housewives,

Portman Doe is a planner. Portman Doe makes meals from scratch. Portman Doe has a regular schedule of cleaning activities. Portman Doe has OCD.

As a housewife might imagine, the culmination of these activities and traits can lead to quite the hustle and bustle in the home. For example, this morning I sent Kit out the door to the office and before even settling down to my morning coffee and screwdriver, I got working on a never-fail, excellent-to-freeze tomato bisque. I made chicken stock a couple of days ago with the carcass of a rotisserie chicken and so this bisque had excellent homemade beginnings.

As the giant stockpot came to a cool, I busied myself with other household chores. I then settled to lunch with some freshly made hummus, a salad, and a mug of the tomato bisque. The bisque tasted off. It was odd. I couldn’t put my finger on it. Maybe it was the pairing with my hummus? Odd. Very odd. I couldn’t finish my mug.

After lunch I took on my next task, cleaning the fridge and freezer. It was then I began to worry. In my fridge I found a tall plastic storage container with contents that smelled and looked like chicken stock. Indeed, it WAS chicken stock. Where did it come from? Was this old chicken stock in the fridge? No. Couldn’t be. OCD. Wouldn’t happen. Surely, this was the chicken stock that I thought I had put in my bisque. What had I put in the bisque? Had I poisoned myself?

And then it came to me. Mango juice. I had mango juice in an identical container. It had disappeared from the fridge.

Let this tale be a lesson to you. Never underestimate the importance of beverages in the undertakings of housewifery.

Portman Doe