Astronautical Delights

Dear Housewives,

Kit and I are hooked on the TV series Extant. Privatization of space exploration. Aliens or viruses or something. Androids. Its star-filled cast includes Halle Berry, Hiroyuki Sanada, Goran Visnijc, Camryn Manheim and Pierce Gagnon, the little boy who blew my mind in Looper.

But Extant is ridiculous, and here’s why:

(SPOILERS, housewives. Spoilers. But not for the most recent episodes.)

Let’s start by putting yourself in Halle the astronaut’s position:

You’re up there in outer space, and you have some crazy ass hallucinations. You see your dead husband and start interacting with him. After hallucinating, you wake up in another part of the space station and know what you do? You watch the first fifteen seconds of the security footage where you’re losing your mind and then delete it without watching it in full.

No, housewives, you wouldn’t do that because, housewives, you’re not stupid. But, apparently, Halle the astronaut is.

So then Halle Berry returns to Earth and has some post-space testing done. Turns out she got pregnant in space. (Yeah, watching the security footage to see if an alien raped you might come in handy now, Halle.) Rather than telling the truth about the psychotic episode or alien contact, Halle doesn’t want her doctor friend Camryn to say anything. An alien baby is in your womb, and your first thought is, “Gee, I better wait and see what I think about all this”? Surely, this pregnancy can’t end well. Surely, Alien is a classic film on this future Earth. What are you thinking, Astronaut Halle?

But come on. We get a woman of colour as the lead (Awesome). She plays an astronaut (Awesome). Maybe we can just forget about what seems to be one of the major themes of the show: Women are so desperate to have babies that they will birth aliens in order to be a mom.

I feel that it’s significant that I can’t recall any of the characters’ names and only call them by the actors’ names. Well, except Goran Visnicj. He’s ER man. And Michael O’Neill. I call him Ron Butterfield. Ron Butterfield 4EVER.

Yours,
Portman Doe