Posts Categorized: DIY

A is for Acid

Dear Housewives, As many of you know, I recently tried an at-home acid bath for my feet. In Canada, the product is called Footner, and consists of two plastic socks filled an acid solution that speeds the skin shedding process. You only wear the socks for an hour, but the product takes several days to… Read more »

My Christmas stockings have Cuban heels

Dear Housewives, Holidays are a special time.  Many of us violate strata agreements by bringing dead trees into our homes. We are also reminded there used to be a feast of Stephen. Sounds kinky and, perhaps, cannibalistic. And there is a huge amount of planning that must go into holiday festivities. I usually repress the trauma… Read more »

Bubble bubble, toil and trouble

Dear Housewives, It’s shortly after 5:30 am as I compose this letter to you. I woke up early to a disaster of a kitchen.  Dishes and pots and trays and glasses covered our countertops, all leftover from last night’s dinner party extravaganza. One dishwasher is just not enough. I know, I know. You’re wondering, housewives, how… Read more »

Being camp

Dear Housewives, A couple of weeks ago, Kit and I took a big step in our relationship. Although, I should say it was more than just a step. It was a move to expand our horizons. To challenge ourselves. To grow as individuals and as a couple. We went camping. There are lesbians who love to… Read more »

Murder, She Rote

Dear Housewives, Many people would argue that watching cozy murder mysteries is a mindless form of entertainment: an hour or so of clean cut whodunnit with minimal gore and a tight wrap-up. Those people have shortchanged the cozy mystery. Through extensive televisual research, I have come to realize that Jessica Fletcher, Hercule Poirot, and Rosemary… Read more »

Murder most fall

Dear Housewives, Whew, what a fall it has been! Positively autumnal! I have been very busy, as always, and I am in recovery from the near-death experience of my beloved fiancée, Kit. (By the way, Google, nice job on the hetero definition of fiancée, but back to the tragic near demise of my lady love…*)… Read more »

We be jammin’

Dear Housewives, When my best friend Edna asked me if I’d like to come over to make jam, I immediately said yes. After all, having already learned a bit about making cheese, crafting my own shoes, and baking bread, canning would be the perfect addition to my domestic repertoire. I was very worried that canning… Read more »

The Miracle Worker

Dear Housewives, Yesterday was full of excitement, drama, and a possible career opportunity in the field of healthcare. I need a new pair of glasses. When I told Kit this last week, she decided I needed an eye exam by an actual doctor, and she called up her ophthalmologist and made me an appointment. I’m… Read more »