Posts Categorized: Television & Film

Real Housewives of Park Slope

Dear Housewives, I’ve received a deluge of emails all asking when the Queer Housewifery blog will be optioned for the screen. I am thrilled to announce that we are currently in negotiations to make a small screen adaptation. Given the success of TV adaptations like S#*! my dad says and My Big Fat Greek Wedding,… Read more »

Putting the bear in Béarnaise

Dear Housewives, Warning: Spoilers ahead That time of year has arrived when everyone’s favourite game show premieres. That show, of course, is Top Chef: Gaydar. Season after season, Top Chef: Gaydar brings us the queerest of the queer. Sure, some people seem to think that programmes like Top Chef: Gaydar overrepresent the homosexuals. Obviously, this is ludicrous as the entire… Read more »

Know It All

Dear Housewives, I am deluged with emails from you all, begging me for advice, so I decided that I should probably dip into the Fendi mailbag. Today, for your benefit, housewives, is the first instalment of Portman Doe Knows It All. Dear Portman, I am concerned that I have ugly feet. Janet from Vancouver, British Columbia Dear… Read more »

A Very Special Episode of Portman Doe

Dear Housewives, I have once again neglected you. Kit and I have been extremely busy over the past few months while starting our homemade compound butter business. (It’s called Fundamentalist Butter. The Bountiful Blueberry butter is ah-mazing.) However, I have returned with a very important PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT regarding the most excellent Wachowskis/Netflix extravaganza Sense8. I realize that I should have… Read more »

Portman Doe is bawlin’

Dear Housewives, As you may know, buried deep within my ample, yet perky, bosom is a small, cold heart. Testament to my heart of stone, I seem to remain void of any emotion when watching even the most moving of programming. Case in point: I gave no hint of emotion while watching the new Star Wars trailer…. Read more »

Murder, She Rote

Dear Housewives, Many people would argue that watching cozy murder mysteries is a mindless form of entertainment: an hour or so of clean cut whodunnit with minimal gore and a tight wrap-up. Those people have shortchanged the cozy mystery. Through extensive televisual research, I have come to realize that Jessica Fletcher, Hercule Poirot, and Rosemary… Read more »

Astronautical Delights

Dear Housewives, Kit and I are hooked on the TV series Extant. Privatization of space exploration. Aliens or viruses or something. Androids. Its star-filled cast includes Halle Berry, Hiroyuki Sanada, Goran Visnijc, Camryn Manheim and Pierce Gagnon, the little boy who blew my mind in Looper. But Extant is ridiculous, and here’s why: (SPOILERS, housewives. Spoilers. But not for the most recent episodes.) Let’s start… Read more »

True Lady Detective

Dear Housewives, A week later I’m still recovering from the season finale of True Detective. If you haven’t watched the smash hit set in the stunning Louisianan landscape, never fear, I won’t spoil the mystery for you. Let’s just say that it takes you places that JB Fletcher never did. Even in that episode when she… Read more »

Reminiscing on Il Postino

Dear Housewives, I do love a good Italian film, especially if it gives me the opportunity to be pretentious. I recall a Friday evening some time ago when our TV Guide channel announced that Il Postino was scheduled as the midnight movie on a local Vancouver television station. How exciting! It was back before the… Read more »